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The Waiting Game... [30 Apr 2011|06:57pm]

I've been following this community since I was diagnosed the first time with dysplasia back in 2006 and while this community seems to be a ghost town nowadays, I don't know where else to turn to express my disappointment with the fact that cryotherapy did not adequately treat my dysplasia and almost a year later, it's still there.  I'm supposed to follow up with a colposcopy now to see to what capacity the dysplasia is still there or if it's different dysplasia that's better or worse than what was treated last year.  My heart is really breaking and I am so sick and tired of this bullshit.  Furthermore, it seems like the process of more in-depth diagnosis and possible treatment has an unacceptable turnaround time where I go.  Usually it's a month and a half before they can fit me into the schedule for the colposcopy and then another month and a half before they can treat my dysplasia if need be.  And after being through this so many times already, I no longer have the emotional strength to wait that long.  There are way too many "what ifs" running through my mind.  What if the initial cryotherapy having not worked allowed for the dysplasia to become worse?  Or what if it actually was more severe than what the colposcopy showed and there's no way to have known because I opted for the cryotherapy instead of the LEEP?  What if it's a different area of dysplasia that is worse?  What if I go for my follow-up colposcopy and they can't find the dysplasia through normal means because the transformation zone is now hidden by scarring and I end up having to have a cone biopsy?  I can't stand it anymore.  I'm sick to my stomach and have no motivation to do anything but glue myself to the couch and sleep all day.    
6Comments......offer support or advice

[25 Oct 2010|09:43am]

I was just diagnosed with HPV about a week ago and my heart dropped out my ass. I had plans I was going to get married move out of state and build a life and be happy but that's all gone now lucky for him we weren't sleeping with each other. Guess my ex boyfriend left me a going away present life time luggage smh. Now I don't know what I'm going to do. What am I supposed to do. Knowing doesn't bother me anymore I cried my poor eyes out the first 2 days after finding out then i got over it. What can I do wanting to hack off everything below sea level is a natural reaction I guess but not realistic. I'm not gonna act like I'm comfortable with dating people now that I have this diagnosis. Not sure what I'm gonna do now guess be single I can't deal with having to explain to people that I have this and be rejected. Tried some dating sites but unless I pay It's a brick wall. So does anyone know of any free HPV dating sites I can use ???
5Comments......offer support or advice

My Experience with Cryotherapy... [24 Aug 2010|04:09pm]

I had my cryotherapy today and in an earlier entry, I mentioned that I would post about my experiences with it, so here goes.

It didn't hurt at all...some very mild cramping, but not what I expected after reading about other peoples' experiences.  I took four ibuprofen about an hour before the procedure and my best friend came along for moral support, which probably helped more than anything.  Having biopsies done during colposcopy hurt much, much more.  I wouldn't believe that the machine was even on if I hadn't had some of the common side effects that immediately follow cryotherapy - such as the sensation of extreme warmth in my face.  It was actually so painless that I'm hoping something will start to hurt soon to prove that there were, indeed, gases flowing through the cryoprobe and that my cervix really was frozen.

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[05 Aug 2010|12:38am]
    So... I am trying to get newly aquainted with all there is to know in regards to HPV.  I know the internet is not the best place to go for information, but it's what's available 24/7.  So quickly, here's my story:  I wouldn't say I was planning on waiting for marriage to have sex, but I was definitley waiting for someone that I COULD see myself marrying.  Seeing as I have a bit of an old fashioned idea, it wasn't until last year, in my late 20's, that I finally lost my virginity.  And in all honesty, no it wasn't with a guy who I thought could be my potenial husband, but it was with someone whom I had known for years, conidered a friend, and thought I could trust.  Okay, so long story short, about a year ago we sleep together.  He ends up getting stationed across the country literally 2 days later, but we did stay in contact for a few months.  I never regretted it and just kind of had the mindset, at least it wasn't some random hook-up with a guy from a bar, or whatever....
    Well, two weeks ago....a little more than a YEAR since we slept together, he IM's me and we talk for a little and then he asks the loaded question:  "I know this may seem odd, but when was the last time you had a pap?"  You can guess where the convo went from there.... he tells me that he has genital warts and has KNOWN since 2006.  He kept saying how sorry he was, but I was at a loss for words.  Anyways, I was kind of more mad than anything, I figured I was fine, it had been over a year and I had no signs or anything.  I went to the Dr. though just to be on the safe side.  She listened to my story, said that it sounded like my risk of exposure was minimal (he had no outbreak at the time, and we ued condoms) and she didn't see anything that remotely looked like a wart or anything to cause any concern.  Well, my pap came back abnormal showing sign of mild dyplasia.  I need to make my appt for the coloscopy...but that in itself scares me!  Paps aren't just uncomfortable for me, they hurt!  I'm really nervous about this.  I told him I have it and need to go in for another procedure and he was like "What do you want me to do, let me know. "  There's nothing I want him to do... I mean at this point what can he do?  I don't want to come across bitchy, but yes, I am angry at him.  He does feel bad, which he should!  But what's the point in laying more of a guilt trip? 

Also, I was kind of shocked when I got the info over the phone, so there are a ton of questions I didn't ask.  Here's my list for my next appt.  Anything I should add?

1) I've read different things in regards to how long it is in your system: 2 years?  Lifelong?  Does it depend?

2)Rule of Thumb for passing it on to guys?  I've heard they can be carriers but not actually "get" it... but in my situation, the guy had it and had the visable signs.  (Not at the time obviously!)

3) What strand do I have?

4)  How do I explain it to my future partners?  Do I identify it as an STD?  How clinical should I get with the explaination? 

5) Can I take a Xanax prior to the procedure?  I am already VERY anxious about it.  I'm more scared of the procedure itself then of what the results may be. As the name suggests, MILD dysplasia, sounds very "mild" so I'm prone to think it's not a big deal... is this a correct assumption?

6)  After the Coloscopy, I have to wait a year and do another pap...and see if there are changes/improvements? What if I just get another pap in 6 months and compare those results to the one I just had, can I skip the coloscopy?

7)   I know there are different levels of severity... some people act as if a diagnosis is no big deal, other people talk about it being life-changing.  Does it just depend on the serverity/type and the personality of people, or is it a case of some people not taking it seriously, or some just being dramatic about it?? 

8)  Most of the posts on here (that I've read) talk about the warts themselves.  I've never had them, but he has.  Should I expect to get them?  And some people have talked about lesions.... what are those?  AND  (last one)  the LEEP and cryotherapy procedeures are only used when there are actual warts present, correct?
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colposcopy biopsy results [01 Jun 2010|11:54am]

I had my colposcopy done about 2 weeks ago following an abnormal pap and a positive result for high-risk hpv (see my entry a few posts down). It wasn't very painful, just uncomfortable and very stressful. He did a biopsy on me, and I've been waiting to hear back. I just got the phone call and the changes found were normal...so everything is fine!!! I am so relieved! He just said to come back in 6 months for a follow-up pap. :)
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warts again after over a year? [07 Dec 2009|11:09am]

[ mood | anxious ]

Hi everyone,

It's been awhile since I've been here or even posted on LJ in general. I was diagnosed with genital warts in July 2008. I got them frozen off and used Aldara for 6 weeks and it went away. I didn't notice any symptoms after that and I thought it was all gone. This morning I noticed one or two tiny warts just inside the entrance of my vagina. I applied some tea tree oil in hopes that it will start to heal it but I'm feeling depressed over it because I thought it was all gone.

Has this happened to anyone else, where you think you're clear and then over a year later you get symptoms again?? Is this normal?

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Get people educated! [20 Nov 2009|04:01pm]

[ mood | content ]

I was recently diagnosed with HPV. I'm 23 and was terrified when I found out earlier this year. However, I have now spent the majority of my time educating my family and friends on this virus. You all should do the same. If you feel comfortable, make your voices heard on livejournal and post this on your profile:

And, if you haven't already or you just want to know more about HPV, always remember to visit www.gardasil.com/.

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[02 Nov 2009|06:30pm]
im suppose to have my biopsy tomorrow and i was told no vaginal insertions like tampons 24 hours before i get it done. today my period was ending and was still kinda light so i used a tampon.. totally forgetting that rule.. do you think this is a big deal? are they gonna make me wait another day to get it done? ive already waited a month... dont think i can wait any longer...
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[27 Oct 2009|05:33pm]
So I had an abnormal pap and was told I have HPV. They told me they didn't test me for hpv, but that's what I have and now I have to get a biospy. Can't an abnormal pap mean something else? I've had friends who had abnormal cells in their cervix but it wasn't hpv. I have my biospy next week.
ANyway.. this is my real question.
I don't necessarily know if I got it from my boyfriend, but I'm sure he has it now. Does that mean we have to start using condoms? and if so... for how long? I know it is very likely to go away for me, but does it go away for guys too? or will it constantly go back and forth? I know I can ask my gyno when I have my appointment but I'm curious and would rather just know NOW.
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My Story [15 Oct 2009|05:23pm]

Hi! I'm not new here but I am not very active. Here is an update on a stressful situation I am dealing with right now.

Read more...Collapse )
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living with HPV.. [10 Sep 2009|03:13pm]
i'm so very glad to have stumbeled upon this community after recently being diagnosed with HPV.  i thought i was alone and although i'm not happy other people have it as well, i am happy that other people understand what it's like to go through this. 

i'd like to share my experience and questions. so far no one except my boyfriend and mom know, (and the doctor obviously.) i didn't tell any of my friends, thus having made this new livejournal account so they couldnt see that i joined the community.

some history...
i'm 20 years old, female. i've been having sex since i was about 15 years old. after i lost my virginity i had my mom take me to the gynocolgist for check ups. over the years i would go and get paps and STD tests, and all of my check ups have came out normal.  i've had sex with 6 guys total, and i'm on birth control.  out of the 6 guys, 3 of them i have not used condoms with because they were long term boyfriends. ( note: ALL these partners were boyfriends, no one night stands.) 

so i've been with this boy for about 6 months.  before we had sex i asked him of his sexual history and he said he had been with 8 or so girls, but none of them seemed to be "dirty."  i told him that i've been tested several times and i always came up clean with no problems.  so after a while, we started having sex without condoms. (note im on birth control also.)  as usual after every person i have sex with i like to go and get tested to make sure everything is fine. i got the pap and test for stds, called back a week later for the results. the conversation went something liek this..

"alright so your test results.. no clamydia, gonorrhea or any other stds came up
on the test.. your pap was perfectly normal."
"okay great!"
"well, however, you did test positive for HPV."
"wait so.. i have hpv?"

it was then i started hysterical crying and pacing around my room.

"wait, so, i could end up with cervical cancer?"
*sigh*  "well right now the virus is dormant in your body, it could remain that way for a while. just come back every 6 months for a pap test."
"okayy..." *crying*
"if you take all of your friends and put them in a room together more than half of them will have HPV i guarantee, probably without even knowing it. it's very common these days."

the conversation ended shortly after that. although the doctor was nice on the phone, she seemed like i was over reacting.  was i perhaps? i was completely shocked and disgusted when i heard the news.

after this i had called up my boyfriend hysterical, and told him what had happened.
now, i understand you can have hpv for a while and it may not show up on tests, but i've been tested for years after having sex and nothing has ever came up at all. then after a few months of sleeping with this kid, i now have HPV, so i'm assuming that it is most likely from him.  whether it is or not, he has it either way now.

i told him this and said i wasn't sure if it *WAS* from him but that i suspected it would be. he kept apologizing and saying that he had no clue, and none of the girls he had slept with ever talked about STDS with him or brought anything up. both of us haven't told anyone besides our parents, no one in our group of friends knows in fear of ricucule.

i just felt so dirty afterwards, my entire day i was moping around and depressed.
what helped me was looking up facts online and reading about it. knowledge is power.
after reading that 8/10 women will get it in their life time and that most cases clear up on their own, i did feel a bit better.  i also read that the chance of it progressing into cervical cancer is 10% if you smoke (which i dont.), but then why would they make such a big deal about it on TV and in the media if the cancer rate is that low?

it's been a month now and i'm feeling better, sometimes i even forget that i have it. i just pray that i will stay healthy and nothing will happen.

feel free to share any stories about when you found out, i'd love to hear other peoples experiences.
how did you deal with it? how are you dealing with it now? 

also, i read that HPV can clear up on its own after 2 years?

not that i'm considering breaking up with my boyfriend anytime soon, but for possible future sexual encounters with other people, how do i break the news to them? i would be so embarassed to get to know a guy and then be like ".. by the way i have HPV." in fear of them running off. most certainly if a guy came up to me and told me that i would not want to have sex with him.

sorry for so many questions, i'm new to this and still trying to learn as much as i can. thanks <3!
3Comments......offer support or advice

I have a question about passing HPV on [30 Aug 2009|11:38am]

[ mood | confused ]

I know it is skin to skin contact and that would be self explanatory but I need some elaboration. I apologize beforehand if these questions/scenarios seem stupid or way off but I'm still coming to grips with my diagnoses.

This is going to get a little personal so please bear with me.

Let's say I masturbate and the come I get on my hands is wiped clean with a towel. It's been a few minutes and I haven't washed my hands yet but on my way to do so, I touch someone's arm. That's skin to skin, did I pass it on?

Or let's say I just had sex and my hands are cleaned off but my eye itches, did I just put it in my eye?

This isn't skin to skin but it's kinda spit to spit. What if I'm drinking from a cup or a straw and someone drinks right after me? Or I drink from a soda bottle and they do too. I don't have sores or anything in my mouth and I don't have warts anywhere either. (I'm not sure if that helps or not)

What if I'm just kissing someone? No sex is involved did I still pass it on? Because I kiss my family for like hello, goodbye, good night lol or I'll kiss a friend on the lips...should I not do that?

I thought that if it's exposed to air or a cooler climate it essentially dies. Like sperm. And so when they say skin to skin does that limit to sex skin to skin? If someone can help with this I'd really appreciate it.

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HPV in men [24 Aug 2009|11:17pm]

... a new study has reported that almost half of penile cancers are caused by HPV -- Human papilloma virus -- the same virus which can cause cervical cancer.

Yahoo Health News | Virus blamed for half of penile cancers

A sexually transmitted virus that causes cervical cancer is also to blame for half of all cases of cancer of the penis, Spanish researchers said on Tuesday.

The finding suggests already available human papillomavirus (HPV) vaccines for cervical cancer are also likely to be effective in the fight against penile cancer, doctors from the Catalan Institute of Oncology in Barcelona said. Read more...Collapse )
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[17 Aug 2009|08:01pm]

an anonymous question for everyone:

"If I tested positive for high risk HPV, but my pap test was normal, can I still pass it on?"
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I feel horrible [15 Jul 2009|11:26pm]
I have been seeing this amazing guy and I haven't had the courage to tell him that I have Hpv but since my last time with the Gyno they told me nothing was there.. once again... so I felt like I am not quite ready to tell him and since I am not sure if the virus is gone or if it come back...  I feel that I am not in the need to tell him just yet... I feel like such a horrible person because I haven't had the guts to tell him and we are sexually active... I am waiting to tell him in  November when I get another pap to be sure is it wrong for me to wait to tell him?? I am hoping it comes back negative... I just hate this feeling... and don't know what to do... any advice??
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Worried. [28 Jun 2009|12:10am]

I had a pap done 3 weeks ago and the results came back with "minor abnormal cell changes" possibly precancerous due to hpv. I haven't been officially diagnosed with hpv, as they won't do a coloscopy for another 6 months if my next pap is abnormal. I don't know how long I've been abnormal though as I haven't had a pap before this one in 2 years. also I've been having symptoms of an infection (some itching/burning/painful sex) -- but my std results all came out clean except for the abnormal pap. just today I noticed again the itching and had a look -- I can see tiny little red bumps in my labia minora. is that what genital warts look like??

I should mention that I currently am in an open relationship with a new sexual partner as of a month ago, though some of these symptoms were there since before him. he's had 4 other partners in the last month including me, for me, just him but we did have 2 threesomes with different girls (2 of his other partners). protection is always used, but now I'm worried that condoms may not be enough, especially during the threesomes. I'm going to another clinic this week to talk about the situation but I was hoping someone here may have some insight/advice to share for some peace of mind. thanks.
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Questions from an Anon poster [19 Jun 2009|05:54pm]

Hello, I'm posting this anonymously for someone who e-mailed me their message:

About a year ago, I had my first sexual experience with a girl for the first time. We gave each other oral sex, and we also did some grinding. We met twice to have sex, and after that I didn't hear from her at all until earlier today. She called me and told me that she had taken a pap smear, and they detected HPV and pre-cancerous cells in her vagina. She basically called to tell me that I should test myself, which I plan on doing at the earliest date possible. She also told me she hadn't had sex with anyone besides me since last year.

Although I'm not positive, I'm certain I don't have HPV. I will get tested just in case, but I'm so worried. I would feel horrible if I did give it to her, especially when I told her I was clean! I feel like such a loser. Is HPV something you can get from a toilet seat, or any other place where genitals touch? A nurse told my friend it is possible, especially since I don't think I have it.

I did tell my boyfriend about this, and he has assured me that he will be supportive no matter what.

Any advice to give me? Or stories to share, etc? Can HPV be passed from an infected surface?

P.s. I had a pap smear in fall 2007. At that point, everything came up negative. I also got a new boyfriend in fall 2007. Perhaps he could have gotten it from my his ex, but he and his ex were each other's first sexual partners, and they only had sex with each other. Since my boyfriend and I have been together, we've only had sex with each other. So I really have no idea where this came from.
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new to all this and confused.. [18 May 2009|03:20am]


i just found out 2 weeks ago i have HPV.
i was really confused becasue i got the gardasil vaccine. i got the first 2 shots and then before i got the 3rd i had protected sex (first time). then i got the 3rd. since then i have had 3 other additional sexual partners.
my doctor said i had to have gotten HPV before the vaccine. does that mean it happened in between the 2nd and 3rd shot? or is there a way to get it besides sex?
or could i have been that the shot was not effective and it could have been anyone else?

also, i havnt told my parents i got HPV because they dont know im sexually active. i just feel like my parents wouldnt be okay with the idea since they have always been all "dont have sex till youre married" (im 21 and currently not in a relatioship, this wouldnt be acceptable to them) anyone else in this situation? i dont want my parents to be "dissapointed" (i guess?)

i know its nott something i should really be ASHAMED about, and that alot of people get HPV but i still feel weird about it. how did you get over that initial reaction?


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So weird... [14 May 2009|01:07am]
So this is my story... I found out I had hpv  of Oct. 2008. I went to see the gyno after that and they wanted to do a colposcopy but when she looked there was nothing there and said I needed  to come back in 3 months. So 3 months later I went and got a pap and it came back positive for Hpv so 2weeks ago I got the coloscopy and Biopsy . I got the results today and she said they came back all negativev she told me to come back in six months ...  Just wonder how can this be???  and has anybody gone through something similar??
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HPV and cervical cancer worries... [26 Apr 2009|07:58pm]

Hey ladies, I'm feeling really really worried right now and am hoping I might get some encouraging words.  I have a copper IUD which I have had since August of 2007.  When I first got it, I spotted for a LONG time.  Like months.  But the doc said it was ok as long as I wasn't getting anemic or anything.  And I was fine, so eventually the spotting stopped and I started getting more or less regular periods.  A little spotting here or there, sure, but not too bad.  Another bit of history, I have HPV.  The wart causing kind (though I don't have any warts, I just had one on my cervix but it went away), which they said is not as likely to cause cervical cancer.  They did a biopsy, it was fine, blah blah blah.  And now, I've been bleeding vaginally for about 4 weeks.  So I'm starting to get worried, because that is a sign of uterine cancer, and I think it's probably been a year at least since my last pap.  In the morning, as soon as I can get ahold of a doctor, I'm going to schedule one to get things checked out.  But in the meantime, has anyone else with a copper IUD had spotting problems more than a year after they got the IUD?  Oh, and I haven't had kids yet.  So that could have something to do with it too.  But I don't know...  It just seems weird to have spotting problems after having my IUD this long!  I am posting this to iud_divas and vaginapagina as well.
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