The Waiting Game...

I've been following this community since I was diagnosed the first time with dysplasia back in 2006 and while this community seems to be a ghost town nowadays, I don't know where else to turn to express my disappointment with the fact that cryotherapy did not adequately treat my dysplasia and almost a year later, it's still there.  I'm supposed to follow up with a colposcopy now to see to what capacity the dysplasia is still there or if it's different dysplasia that's better or worse than what was treated last year.  My heart is really breaking and I am so sick and tired of this bullshit.  Furthermore, it seems like the process of more in-depth diagnosis and possible treatment has an unacceptable turnaround time where I go.  Usually it's a month and a half before they can fit me into the schedule for the colposcopy and then another month and a half before they can treat my dysplasia if need be.  And after being through this so many times already, I no longer have the emotional strength to wait that long.  There are way too many "what ifs" running through my mind.  What if the initial cryotherapy having not worked allowed for the dysplasia to become worse?  Or what if it actually was more severe than what the colposcopy showed and there's no way to have known because I opted for the cryotherapy instead of the LEEP?  What if it's a different area of dysplasia that is worse?  What if I go for my follow-up colposcopy and they can't find the dysplasia through normal means because the transformation zone is now hidden by scarring and I end up having to have a cone biopsy?  I can't stand it anymore.  I'm sick to my stomach and have no motivation to do anything but glue myself to the couch and sleep all day.    

(no subject)

I was just diagnosed with HPV about a week ago and my heart dropped out my ass. I had plans I was going to get married move out of state and build a life and be happy but that's all gone now lucky for him we weren't sleeping with each other. Guess my ex boyfriend left me a going away present life time luggage smh. Now I don't know what I'm going to do. What am I supposed to do. Knowing doesn't bother me anymore I cried my poor eyes out the first 2 days after finding out then i got over it. What can I do wanting to hack off everything below sea level is a natural reaction I guess but not realistic. I'm not gonna act like I'm comfortable with dating people now that I have this diagnosis. Not sure what I'm gonna do now guess be single I can't deal with having to explain to people that I have this and be rejected. Tried some dating sites but unless I pay It's a brick wall. So does anyone know of any free HPV dating sites I can use ???

My Experience with Cryotherapy...

I had my cryotherapy today and in an earlier entry, I mentioned that I would post about my experiences with it, so here goes.

It didn't hurt at all...some very mild cramping, but not what I expected after reading about other peoples' experiences.  I took four ibuprofen about an hour before the procedure and my best friend came along for moral support, which probably helped more than anything.  Having biopsies done during colposcopy hurt much, much more.  I wouldn't believe that the machine was even on if I hadn't had some of the common side effects that immediately follow cryotherapy - such as the sensation of extreme warmth in my face.  It was actually so painless that I'm hoping something will start to hurt soon to prove that there were, indeed, gases flowing through the cryoprobe and that my cervix really was frozen.

  

(no subject)

    So... I am trying to get newly aquainted with all there is to know in regards to HPV.  I know the internet is not the best place to go for information, but it's what's available 24/7.  So quickly, here's my story:  I wouldn't say I was planning on waiting for marriage to have sex, but I was definitley waiting for someone that I COULD see myself marrying.  Seeing as I have a bit of an old fashioned idea, it wasn't until last year, in my late 20's, that I finally lost my virginity.  And in all honesty, no it wasn't with a guy who I thought could be my potenial husband, but it was with someone whom I had known for years, conidered a friend, and thought I could trust.  Okay, so long story short, about a year ago we sleep together.  He ends up getting stationed across the country literally 2 days later, but we did stay in contact for a few months.  I never regretted it and just kind of had the mindset, at least it wasn't some random hook-up with a guy from a bar, or whatever....
    Well, two weeks ago....a little more than a YEAR since we slept together, he IM's me and we talk for a little and then he asks the loaded question:  "I know this may seem odd, but when was the last time you had a pap?"  You can guess where the convo went from there.... he tells me that he has genital warts and has KNOWN since 2006.  He kept saying how sorry he was, but I was at a loss for words.  Anyways, I was kind of more mad than anything, I figured I was fine, it had been over a year and I had no signs or anything.  I went to the Dr. though just to be on the safe side.  She listened to my story, said that it sounded like my risk of exposure was minimal (he had no outbreak at the time, and we ued condoms) and she didn't see anything that remotely looked like a wart or anything to cause any concern.  Well, my pap came back abnormal showing sign of mild dyplasia.  I need to make my appt for the coloscopy...but that in itself scares me!  Paps aren't just uncomfortable for me, they hurt!  I'm really nervous about this.  I told him I have it and need to go in for another procedure and he was like "What do you want me to do, let me know. "  There's nothing I want him to do... I mean at this point what can he do?  I don't want to come across bitchy, but yes, I am angry at him.  He does feel bad, which he should!  But what's the point in laying more of a guilt trip? 

Also, I was kind of shocked when I got the info over the phone, so there are a ton of questions I didn't ask.  Here's my list for my next appt.  Anything I should add?

1) I've read different things in regards to how long it is in your system: 2 years?  Lifelong?  Does it depend?

2)Rule of Thumb for passing it on to guys?  I've heard they can be carriers but not actually "get" it... but in my situation, the guy had it and had the visable signs.  (Not at the time obviously!)

3) What strand do I have?

4)  How do I explain it to my future partners?  Do I identify it as an STD?  How clinical should I get with the explaination? 

5) Can I take a Xanax prior to the procedure?  I am already VERY anxious about it.  I'm more scared of the procedure itself then of what the results may be. As the name suggests, MILD dysplasia, sounds very "mild" so I'm prone to think it's not a big deal... is this a correct assumption?

6)  After the Coloscopy, I have to wait a year and do another pap...and see if there are changes/improvements? What if I just get another pap in 6 months and compare those results to the one I just had, can I skip the coloscopy?

7)   I know there are different levels of severity... some people act as if a diagnosis is no big deal, other people talk about it being life-changing.  Does it just depend on the serverity/type and the personality of people, or is it a case of some people not taking it seriously, or some just being dramatic about it?? 

8)  Most of the posts on here (that I've read) talk about the warts themselves.  I've never had them, but he has.  Should I expect to get them?  And some people have talked about lesions.... what are those?  AND  (last one)  the LEEP and cryotherapy procedeures are only used when there are actual warts present, correct?

colposcopy biopsy results

I had my colposcopy done about 2 weeks ago following an abnormal pap and a positive result for high-risk hpv (see my entry a few posts down). It wasn't very painful, just uncomfortable and very stressful. He did a biopsy on me, and I've been waiting to hear back. I just got the phone call and the changes found were normal...so everything is fine!!! I am so relieved! He just said to come back in 6 months for a follow-up pap. :)
eyes

warts again after over a year?

Hi everyone,

It's been awhile since I've been here or even posted on LJ in general. I was diagnosed with genital warts in July 2008. I got them frozen off and used Aldara for 6 weeks and it went away. I didn't notice any symptoms after that and I thought it was all gone. This morning I noticed one or two tiny warts just inside the entrance of my vagina. I applied some tea tree oil in hopes that it will start to heal it but I'm feeling depressed over it because I thought it was all gone.

Has this happened to anyone else, where you think you're clear and then over a year later you get symptoms again?? Is this normal?
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Get people educated!

I was recently diagnosed with HPV. I'm 23 and was terrified when I found out earlier this year. However, I have now spent the majority of my time educating my family and friends on this virus. You all should do the same. If you feel comfortable, make your voices heard on livejournal and post this on your profile:

And, if you haven't already or you just want to know more about HPV, always remember to visit www.gardasil.com/.
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(no subject)

im suppose to have my biopsy tomorrow and i was told no vaginal insertions like tampons 24 hours before i get it done. today my period was ending and was still kinda light so i used a tampon.. totally forgetting that rule.. do you think this is a big deal? are they gonna make me wait another day to get it done? ive already waited a month... dont think i can wait any longer...

(no subject)

So I had an abnormal pap and was told I have HPV. They told me they didn't test me for hpv, but that's what I have and now I have to get a biospy. Can't an abnormal pap mean something else? I've had friends who had abnormal cells in their cervix but it wasn't hpv. I have my biospy next week.
ANyway.. this is my real question.
I don't necessarily know if I got it from my boyfriend, but I'm sure he has it now. Does that mean we have to start using condoms? and if so... for how long? I know it is very likely to go away for me, but does it go away for guys too? or will it constantly go back and forth? I know I can ask my gyno when I have my appointment but I'm curious and would rather just know NOW.
thanks..