overanalyzeher (overanalyzeher) wrote in hpv,
overanalyzeher
overanalyzeher
hpv

living with HPV..

i'm so very glad to have stumbeled upon this community after recently being diagnosed with HPV.  i thought i was alone and although i'm not happy other people have it as well, i am happy that other people understand what it's like to go through this. 

i'd like to share my experience and questions. so far no one except my boyfriend and mom know, (and the doctor obviously.) i didn't tell any of my friends, thus having made this new livejournal account so they couldnt see that i joined the community.

some history...
i'm 20 years old, female. i've been having sex since i was about 15 years old. after i lost my virginity i had my mom take me to the gynocolgist for check ups. over the years i would go and get paps and STD tests, and all of my check ups have came out normal.  i've had sex with 6 guys total, and i'm on birth control.  out of the 6 guys, 3 of them i have not used condoms with because they were long term boyfriends. ( note: ALL these partners were boyfriends, no one night stands.) 


so i've been with this boy for about 6 months.  before we had sex i asked him of his sexual history and he said he had been with 8 or so girls, but none of them seemed to be "dirty."  i told him that i've been tested several times and i always came up clean with no problems.  so after a while, we started having sex without condoms. (note im on birth control also.)  as usual after every person i have sex with i like to go and get tested to make sure everything is fine. i got the pap and test for stds, called back a week later for the results. the conversation went something liek this..

"alright so your test results.. no clamydia, gonorrhea or any other stds came up
on the test.. your pap was perfectly normal."
"okay great!"
"well, however, you did test positive for HPV."
"wait so.. i have hpv?"
"yes."

it was then i started hysterical crying and pacing around my room.

"wait, so, i could end up with cervical cancer?"
*sigh*  "well right now the virus is dormant in your body, it could remain that way for a while. just come back every 6 months for a pap test."
"okayy..." *crying*
"if you take all of your friends and put them in a room together more than half of them will have HPV i guarantee, probably without even knowing it. it's very common these days."

the conversation ended shortly after that. although the doctor was nice on the phone, she seemed like i was over reacting.  was i perhaps? i was completely shocked and disgusted when i heard the news.

after this i had called up my boyfriend hysterical, and told him what had happened.
now, i understand you can have hpv for a while and it may not show up on tests, but i've been tested for years after having sex and nothing has ever came up at all. then after a few months of sleeping with this kid, i now have HPV, so i'm assuming that it is most likely from him.  whether it is or not, he has it either way now.

i told him this and said i wasn't sure if it *WAS* from him but that i suspected it would be. he kept apologizing and saying that he had no clue, and none of the girls he had slept with ever talked about STDS with him or brought anything up. both of us haven't told anyone besides our parents, no one in our group of friends knows in fear of ricucule.

i just felt so dirty afterwards, my entire day i was moping around and depressed.
what helped me was looking up facts online and reading about it. knowledge is power.
after reading that 8/10 women will get it in their life time and that most cases clear up on their own, i did feel a bit better.  i also read that the chance of it progressing into cervical cancer is 10% if you smoke (which i dont.), but then why would they make such a big deal about it on TV and in the media if the cancer rate is that low?

it's been a month now and i'm feeling better, sometimes i even forget that i have it. i just pray that i will stay healthy and nothing will happen.

feel free to share any stories about when you found out, i'd love to hear other peoples experiences.
how did you deal with it? how are you dealing with it now? 

also, i read that HPV can clear up on its own after 2 years?

not that i'm considering breaking up with my boyfriend anytime soon, but for possible future sexual encounters with other people, how do i break the news to them? i would be so embarassed to get to know a guy and then be like ".. by the way i have HPV." in fear of them running off. most certainly if a guy came up to me and told me that i would not want to have sex with him.


sorry for so many questions, i'm new to this and still trying to learn as much as i can. thanks <3!
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